


Unknowing

by chasing_the_sterek



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: BAMF Dipper, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I mean Bill hasn't even come in yet, M/M, Multibear and Manotaur Feud Take II, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Witch Dipper Pines, because fuck yeah, believe me this is nowhere near completion, but shhhh, that's still yet to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7816732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasing_the_sterek/pseuds/chasing_the_sterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper hadn't realised he'd become a liason of sorts between the ordinary world and the supernatural until he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unknowing

**Author's Note:**

> So what if this is oddly written and kind of dumb? It can't be as bad as some of the other things I've written.

Dipper wakes up to frantic shouting and snarling.

It probably says a lot about him that he just rolls over, mumbling _go away_ to anyone who might be trying to wake him up, and tries to go back to sleep.

"Dipper!" Mabel shrieks not a moment later, the crash of their wooden door against the wall joining the thud her body makes when it collides with Dipper's, which is tucked up like a burrito under the covers.

"WhazupMabshms'thrapr'blem?"

 _"Dipper!"_ Stan yells, the poor door smashing against the wall for the second time in half as many minutes. Dipper winces at the noise and tries to pull his pillow over his head only to have it confiscated by Mabel. He glares sleepily at her when she throws it onto her bed.

"What?" Dipper answers finally, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

"There is a gigantic, multiple-headed bear _thing_ outside and it refuses to leave until it speaks to you!" Stan hisses.

Dipper blinks dully at him, still groggy. "The Multibear's here?"

"You _know_ the thing!?" Stan shouts in his confusion, grabbing his great-nephew by the shoulders and shaking him a little to wake him up more. "Why? How? Kid, did you _make friends_ with a bear that has _seven heads?"_

"It's far from the first time he's befriended a supernatural thing," Mabel says absently, but she looks just as shocked as Stan seems to be.

Dipper stares blankly at Stan, no longer listening to a single word of the old man's rant. "Multibear's here?" he repeats, and scrambles out of bed to get to the window.

When he leans out, he's met with the sight of the Multibear standing on his hind legs and roaring at Soos, who's poking him in the stomach with a broom and making _shoo, shoo!_ noises.

"I am not an dull-minded, unintelligent creature of the forest!" Multibear roars. "Do not treat me like one of those mangy rodents that plague some parts of the world -"

"Sorry, dude," Soos interrupts, giving the Multibear's fluffy-ish stomach a harder poke. "But what Mr Pines says goes, and he totally seems to want you to go, dull-minded thing or not."

"Fuck," Dipper says simply, and sprints downstairs, once again feeling grateful that he's not one of those people who sleeps nude, because even though he's only in boxers and a t-shirt he's still wearing _something._

He shoves all the doors open that are in his way, dimly aware of Mabel and Stan running to keep up behind him but not really caring. Dipper screeches to a halt on the porch, snatching the broom from Soos' grip before he's even finished moving.

"Soos, _no!"_ Dipper yells. "Stop!"

"Dude, you took my broom," Soos points out. "It's not like I can carry on."

Dipper huffs, mutters a brief apology, and turns to the Multibear. "Hey, man, you okay?"

"I will be, Dipper," Multi answers, leaning down so that his chief head can address the human more easily. "This young man here has hurt my pride, not my hide, but that is easily fixed, I think."

"Why'd you come so far out, Multi?" Dipper asks. He hears Mabel whisper _he even has a nickname for him, whaaaaat_ but he ignores it. "You live way up in the mountains, man. Where's the fire?"

"Fire?" Multi asks, tilting his head to one side curiously.

"Uh," Dipper blinks a little. "It's an idiom - where's the fire just means what's the rush or where's the problem, I guess."

"Ah." The Multibear says, nodding. "In which case, my fire is in my cave as we speak, most likely ransacking my treasured items and destroying my stereo."

 _"What."_ Dipper says.

"You have a stereo?" Mabel asks.

"What's the treasure? Gold?" Stan asks.

Dipper shakes his head in disbelief, ignoring both Stan's normal chrometophilia and Mabel's lack of focus on the main problem at hand. "But I initiated a peace between you guys. I showed the Manotaurs that you were plenty man enough and you that they enjoyed some girly things too and then you both agreed to not fight anymore."

"When'd you do this?" Stan asks incredulously.

"How did you two even _meet?"_ Mabel hisses excitedly, and Dipper knows she's bouncing energetically on the balls of her feet without even having to turn around.

"Tell us the story, little dude!" Soos cheers.

"The Manotaurs did not respect it, I am lead to assume." Multi says heavily. "I came to request your help, young warrior."

Dipper winces, turning his head to one side a little bit so he can look at the three assembled members of his family of choice.

Stan snorts, Soos smiles at him, and Mabel looks a little surprised.

"Warrior?" Stan says with an evil grin. "Dipper'll be a warrior when he actually does something, y'know. . . _warrior-like."_

"Dipper here defeated me in a full-on fight when he was twelve years old." Multi answers, his tone clearly stating that he doesn't agree with Stan's assessment of Dipper's warrior-ness even the tiniest bit. Dipper feels a heavy paw place itself gently on his head, and can read from the three's collective expressions that the paw easily dwarfs his skull.

"No way," Mabel gasps.

"Shut up, man, it's just because I was small," Dipper huffs, cheeks flaring a subtle pink. "I bet you'd win, now, you've got tons better at fighting."

Multi shakes his head. Dipper's still facing everyone else, but he can feel the action move the paw that's resting gently on his head. "I doubt it, Dipper. You are more skilled than you care to admit."

"Yeah, yeah, stuff the niceties," Dipper says after a heartbeat of surprised silence on his part.

He turns and uses the leg Multi has extended to him to climb up to sit at the base of the chief head, grinning down at all of the shell-shocked expressions he gets in return for the action. Dipper supposes it's a little weird to wake up one day to a gigantic bear with at least five heads who apparently knows your brother/nephew/friend through a fight you never heard about, then for said brother/nephew/friend to climb all over the bear like he's a jungle gym without sparing the sharp teeth or razor-like claws a second glance, talking about a peace treaty he helped create all the while.

Dipper lets a little smile come to his lips.

Only in Gravity Falls.

"Where are you going, Dip-Dop?" Mabel tilts her head to one side and frowns softly at him.

Dipper feels guilt claw at his heart. Mabel and he shared almost everything, from speaking at the same time by accident to fighting a demon triangle together without blinking. How must she feel, knowing that Dipper didn't tell her he was friends with a massive multi-headed bear, and wondering if that was all he'd hidden? Dipper hadn't meant to hide it - it had just slipped his mind in the craziness that followed his day with the Manotaurs and then the Multibear, and he'd never really given much thought to telling someone about either party.

Dipper leans over to speak into one of Multi's ears. "Can my sister come too?"

"She may," Multi says, and dips his head to make it easier for Mabel to climb on.

"What?" The girl in question asks. "What's happening?"

Stan's narrowing his eyes at Multi, obviously wondering the same thing.

"C'mon, sis," Dipper grins, extending a hand. "Wanna come with?"

Mabel's confused face breaks into a smile, and she grabs his hand, climbing up after him. Once she's seated securely, hands toying with locks of soft grey fur and eyes wide, Dipper shoots her another quick smile before he turns back around and tells Multi to get his hide in gear.

The forest starts to blur around them as Multi starts to flat-out sprint.

Mabel gasps loudly, then whoops.

"How quickly can you get back to your cave, Multi?" Dipper asks, leaning over again to make sure he's heard over the whistling wind.

"Ten minutes," Multi answers, and when he turns his head back to look at Dipper the brunet notices that he's smirking a little.

"Bet you can't make it in five," Dipper challenges, sitting back and crossing his arms with a smirk of his own.

Multi's orange eyes narrow.

"You're on," he agrees with a little grin, and doubles his speed.

"Dipper, _what did you do!?"_ Mabel shrieks from behind him.

Dipper turns to address her better. "I told him I didn't think he could make it back to his cave in five minutes instead of ten," he explains, not bothering to raise his voice past a normal speaking volume.

"Well, he obviously can!" Mabel yells, gesturing to the speed-blurred trees that are whipping past them. Dipper notices that they're thinning out, and assumes they're getting closer to the cliff Multi will have to climb to get to his cave.

"I know he can," Dipper says easily. "Hence why I didn't bet anything on it."

"Then _why did you make the bet!?"_ Mabel hisses, using both hands to hold onto Multi for dear life. She looks vaguely terrified.

"Because he was being too careful, and we need to get there as soon as possible."

Mabel opens her mouth to ask another question, but then her eyes flick over Dipper's shoulder and go wide. Her face pales.

"Dippingsauce," she says, surprisingly calmly considering the circumstances. "Why is the bear we're riding running straight towards a cliff?"

Dipper turns back around and looks.

The cliff-face's usual pathway - the one he himself would take - is cracked and broken. The cave entrance itself is not its usual dark, mysterious self, but more of a lit window through which you can see the inside, where Dipper can just catch a glimpse of the occasional Manotaur as they scurry around, snatching up armfuls of bones and trinkets and dumping them in a cart they've parked outside. But he only has a second to observe, because his attention is drawn repeatedly back towards the cliff face they're barreling straight towards.

"I don't -" Dipper starts to yell, his head starting to swivel back to look at Mabel, but the Multibear lets out a little huff like he's psyching himself up for something and Dipper realises what he's intending to do.

"Dipper!?" Mabel shouts desperately, legs flailing, and he feels her leaning back as if the action will delay the inevitable.

"Don't worry, Mabes," Dipper shouts back, a small smile settling on his face. "I don't think we're gonna die today."

_"Dipper Pines that is not a helpful thing to say oh my god I'm going to kill you -"_

Dipper just laughs, putting his trust in Multi as he pauses, crouching briefly and then leaping straight up, using the momentum from his sprint to throw himself further up than he would usually go.

The grey-furred bear shakes his chief head and chuffs loudly from all seven of his heads (Dipper can count them very easily from his current position) as he glances around quickly to make sure they weren't seen.

"Are you both still on my back, young ones?" Multi asks, a head on his right shoulder turning to survey Dipper and Mabel with worried eyes.

"We're good," Dipper assures, leaning forward and patting all of the heads he can reach.

"Eaaaahhhh," Mabel goes, eyes wide and mouth still stuck in a half-scream.

Dipper glances back. "You okay?"

"Aaahhhhhhnnnn," Mabel goes again. "Eaaaagggguuuhhhh."

Mabel may be good with monsters and all of the rest of the crazy stuff that happens in Gravity Falls, but she's never been very good on rollercoasters, and, really, the ride on Multi's back (neck?) is closer to one of those than fighting a hundred gnomes or banishing a yellow demon dorito.

"She's fine," Dipper decides for her, smiling into Multi's shoulder-head's wide, concerned eyes. "And your cave will be too. And on that note - what's the plan, man?"

"Ah," Multi's chief head says suddenly. Dipper's not sure if it's in response to his question or if it's because Multi has noted a little niche which will serve nicely as both a hiding spot and an area big enough for the twins to clamber off. The massive grey bear pads into the alcove quietly and bends a little to make it easier.

"Ah?" Dipper echoes questioningly. He slides off neatly, not really needing the lowering but thankful for it anyway, and then turns and guides Mabel down after him.

"I was hoping you could help with that," Multi responds softly, blinking at Dipper with hope in his eyes. "After all, you did manage to create a truce between the Manotaurs and I, fragile and temporary as it may have turned out to be."

"Hmm." Dipper turns his eyes to the cave.

Their entry point seems to open to one side, like the cave wall has folded over to keep it hidden, and there's a stalagmite-stalactite blend thing covering them too, so he can't see much, but the brunet can occasionally catch a glimpse of hairy backs and male-symbol tattoos.

Dipper takes a deep breath.

"I have an idea," he says, and steps into the cave fully before anyone can say anything.

"Destructor!" Chutzpar yells gleefully when he spots Dipper, and suddenly the teen is surrounded by familiar faces.

"Hey, guys," Dipper says, voice carefully cheerful. He hears Mabel make a sort of _oooooooohhhhhhhhh_ noise in the background as she realises what he's doing. He raises his voice a little to try and block out her hurried (and, thankfully, hushed) explanation to the Multibear's murmured request for one.

"Fancy seeing you here!" Pituitoar greets, face surging up out of the throng of Manotaurs just long enough to be recognised before it's melting back into the nearly copy-and-paste beards and horns of the tribe.

"I could aim that right back at you," Dipper says mildly, raising one eyebrow and casting an obviously judgemental eye over the miscellaneous sacks of the Multibear's belongings that are either heaped on the ground or slung over Manotaurs' shoulders. "I could have sworn I fought a giant grey bear with seven heads here once for you."

Awkward shuffling.

None of the Manotaurs seem to want to meet Dipper's eyes. He leans on one hip and taps a foot with mock impatience, moving his gaze agonisingly slowly from the sacks to the Manotaurs themselves.

"It's the brain magic from the first time we met him," Beardy whispers huskily, looking almost comically guilty. "I feel bad inside."

"What was that?" Dipper says, raising his eyebrow even further and tilting his head like he really wants to know. "Someone say something?"

Deadly silence, bar some muffled giggling from Mabel (though she seems to be being as quiet as possible, so Dipper doesn't really intend to chew her out or anything).

"What happened to the peace treaty, huh?"

"It's Leader R who broke it, not us," Beardy says quickly, eyes wide.

"Well I don't see Leader R in this cave," Dipper replies, and sue him if it's a little testy. "All I see is a bunch of chickens, doing the dirty work for someone who's not respecting a contract between to sides that equally benefits both parties involved."

"We're not chickens!" Pituitoar yells. "We're _manly!"_

They all roar loudly and stomp. Dipper spares a brief moment's exasperated thought to the hope that the cave holds up to multiple muscly beasts stomping in tandem.

"Do real men steal from others, even if the other in this case happens to be your lifetime enemy?"

Silence.

"No," some of the Manotaurs mumble, shuffling their feet again. "But he is sick, of a poison we do not know how to treat, and he insists that Multibear refuses to give him the only cure, which he owns."

Dipper blinks a little - this stuff about cures and poisons is news to him - and then smiles lopsidedly. "Did you try _asking_ the Multibear for it?"

It's the Manotaurs' turn to blink, except they do it far more openly, scratching their necks and looking confused.

An unspoken _no_ seems to be the general consensus, so Dipper huffs and pushes through the crowd to get to one of the bags on the floor. He nudges it open with a hand out of curiosity, and it met with a mountain of spare batteries for Multi's stereo and a set of seven bones that look like they've been carved into large, rudimentary microphones for several large heads.

"Wow," Dipper deadpans. "What an amazing antidote."

He draws out one of the smaller microphones and a handful of batteries, angling them so that Mabel and Multi can see as well as the Manotaurs. A stifled giggle from the entrance of the cave lets him that Mabel's seen them.

"Leader R is very sick," Pituitoar tries, shuffling his feet and averting his eyes. "We don't know how much antidote he needs."

"So you take _everything?"_ Dipper says, severely unimpressed. "Without warning the Multibear, and apparently without asking Leader R what the antidote looks like?"

Beardy clears his throat. "Yes?"

"Wrong answer, man," Dipper informs him, dropping the rock microphone and the batteries back into the sack at his feet and completely ignoring the horrifically loud crack it makes. He lets a tiny smirk curl at the side of his lips at the Manotaurs' flinches.

"No," Beardy corrects himself almost desperately, stumbling back like he expects Dipper to sprout fangs and lunge at his jugular.

Someone sucks in a sharp breath. _"Brain magic."_

"Woah, woah, calm down," Dipper says, eyes slightly wide and palms out soothingly. "I'm not gonna maim you or anything. I'm just hurt you went behind everyone's backs and tried to ransack Multi's cave. He didn't _do_ anything, guys. Besides, he might not even have the antidote."

"We are sorry for hurting your feelings," Chutzpar says gruffly, somehow managing to look more awkward than Dipper at a social event, which is no small feat.

Dipper frowns. "Uh-huh. What does the antidote look like?"

The Manotaurs squirm, and Dipper drags a hand down his face in exasperation.

"Do you not _know?"_

"There is a legend of a healing plant," Chutzpar mumbles. "It grows in large caves."

"So, naturally, Multi had it?" Dipper raises an eyebrow.

"We did not know for sure," Beardy says, hesitantly piping up. "And, given how the Multibear has been so violent in the past -"

Dipper groans, and plants his face in his hands. "Jesus Christ."

"Destructor?"

Dipper lets out a huff of exasperation. For creatures that claim to be manly, they're frustratingly childish. "Okay. Okay. Let's summarise - you're still sulky about you and Multi's feud, _even though I made a peace treaty that satisfied everyone,_ so you stormed his cave and upturned it looking for a magical healing plant that _might not even be there?"_

A handful of Manotaurs cough nervously, shuffling their feet and averting their eyes, and Dipper lets out his biggest groan yet.

"You're children," he tells them, plain and simple, and stares right back at the ones who glare at him. He's twenty-two years old, now - he's nearly the same height, and much more muscular than when he came to them ten years ago. If he had the guts to defy Leader R then, he's positive he could beat the Manotaurs in a damn staring contest.

One of them is offended enough to actually speak up. "I have -"

Dipper gives him an unimpressed look. "Fists for nipples, yeah, yeah," he says grumpily. "We all know, man, you shout it at every opportunity you can."

The Manotaur scowls and settles back down.

Satisfied, Dipper turns to leave. "I'm assuming your own cave hasn't moved?"

"It hasn't," Chutzpar admits, still avoiding his eyes, and moves forward to pick Dipper up and put him on his shoulders.

"Uh, no thanks," Dipper denies, ducking out of the way and strolling to the entrance. "I'm riding on Multi. You lot can all follow behind."

He hops up next to Mabel, who's staring at him with wide eyes, and tells Multi to leave the Manotaurs in the dust.

**@#£% &**&%£#@**

Dipper storms into the Manotaurs' cave with his arms crossed and a severely unimpressed scowl on his face.

"Get out here, R," he yells, ignoring the Manotaurs that have trailed after him like lost ducklings. His eyes flick briefly to Mabel, still sitting on the Multibear, and he feels his lips turn up at the corners at the awestruck look on her face. It _is_ kind of surprising; the tiny entrance of the cave doesn't even hint at how huge the inside is.

 _"He didn't use Leader R's title,"_ one of the Manotaurs hisses quietly. Dipper feels like he's not meant to hear it.

 _"He's angry with us,"_ another hisses back. _"And him too, I guess."_

 _"Shut up or you'll make him angrier,"_ a third whispers, and then there's silence.

Dipper turns his head towards the crowd at his back, opening his mouth to make some snarky comment, but he's cut off by enormous thudding footfalls, and he chooses to start working instead.

**@#£% &**&%£#@**

By the time Dipper, Mabel, and Multi make it out of the cave, it's nearly dark, the first stars twinkling faintly overhead in a far-off reflection of the exhausted victory the brunet feels. He's spent the whole day in a cave, arguing with a stubborn asshole who refused to even listen to what Dipper had to say until he "proved himself worthy" (and, one spear and thirty-seven out of forty hit targets later, he finally did it), and he's so tired he just wants to go home and sleep for a week. Sadly, though, they have a whole stretch of woods between them and the Shack, including the steep downward slope of the mountainside below them, and Stan and Soos' inevitable barrage of questions.

"Do you want me to carry you home, young ones?" Multi questions, orange eyes dulled with tiredness but locking with Mabel and Dipper's with excitement nonetheless. Maybe Multi was still riding the adrenaline high from being in a cave surrounded by what was, in that situation, the enemy. Maybe he was just overjoyed to get his cave back. Dipper didn't know what the reason was, but as non-offensively as possible he didn't care.

"If you could carry us down the mountains, then that would be awesome," Dipper requests, ignoring Mabel's little noise of surprise at his chosen response. "But you needn't carry us so far out of your way. You're tired, don't try to deny it, and you probably want to check up on your cave, so we'll let you go."

Multi nods his chief head, face expressing his gratitude without needing words, and starts to pick his way down the steep slope as soon as he's sure the twins are secure on his back.

They part ways about two and a half miles away from the bottom; Dipper knows that Multi's gone a little out of his way to make their journey at least an hour shorter, but he seems to have hit the nail right in the head in that the Multibear wants to check that everything's in order. He doesn't mention it.

"Thank you," Dipper nods after he's slipped off smoothly.

"No, young warrior," Multi answers, smiling with his eyes and letting the edges of his black lips curl up. "Thank _you,_ for coming to my aid when nobody else would for all of the gold in the universe."

"I really don't think -"

"WHOO, GO DIPPER!" Mabel cheers insistently, punching him in the arm with obvious pride.

Dipper forces down a blush, snorting instead. He abandons his previous sentence. "Pff, you would've been fine. They're all scared of you anyway."

"I disagree, young warrior," Multi tells him with amusement, "but I will let it slide for today. I shall see you around, Miss Pines. Dipper."

"Mabel." Mabel corrects, smiling up at him.

"Mabel," the Multibear agrees, inclining all five of his heads at the front in agreement.

He turns around and sprints off. It doesn't even take a full three seconds for him to disappear.

**@#£% &**&%£#@**

"Kids!"

"Heya, Grunkle Stan," Dipper says, waving tiredly.

"Howdy," Mabel says, smiling with a similar amount of exhaustion.

"Yeesh, you two look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards multiple times."

"Thanks," Dipper mutters, letting Mabel slip into the Shack before him before closing the door.

"How'd the weird bear thing go, kid?"

"Well, I guess," Dipper says. "The -"

"You _guess?"_ Mabel repeats incredulously. "Dipper. You were legendary." She turns to Stan. "Did you know that Dipper knows the woods so well he can navigate them with ease and somehow shorten what I _know_ would have been an hour-long walk into ten minutes? Did you know he can use the stars to make sure he stays on track? Did you know he can effectively cool down an argument that could easily dissolve back into the same near-war he stopped single-handedly years ago?"

Dipper groans. _"Mabel,"_ he whines.

Grunkle Stan looks more than a little surprised. "Uh, no. Can't - can't say I knew any of that."

Mabel opens her mouth, no doubt to continue her little speech, but Dipper slaps a hand over her mouth hurriedly and attempts to move her away from anyone she can exaggerate his accomplishments to. He laughs awkwardly, lifting his free hand to wave nervously at Stan as they pass him.

"Mabel, licking my hand does nothing when I literally _grew up_ with you."

**@#£% &**&%£#@**

Dawn breaks, and Mabel wakes; she's not exactly ecstatic at both the time and waking up in general, given she and Dipper's adventures the day before, but she sucks it up anyway, knowing from experience that she won't be able to go back to sleep.

She squints envious eyes at a still-sleeping Dipper when she pokes her head into his room, but for obvious reasons he doesn't react.

"Morning, Mabel," Grunkle Stan greets, eyes flicking up from behind his paper. "I see you got away from your weirdo of a brother."

"Yeah," the brunette replies. She opens the fridge and pulls out a jug of Mabel Juice, placing it on the table and grabbing a glass before sitting down. "Hey, Grunkle Stan. . . ?"

"What is it, kiddo?"

She stares down at a miniature Brontosaurus. "Do you ever wonder what Dipper does in the woods?"

Stan folds his paper as he considers, and Mabel spares a moment to be grateful he's taking the question seriously enough to think about it. "Well, I definitely can't say I've thought at length about it, but the question has popped up a couple of times."

"Hm." Mabel chugs enough Mabel Juice in one go for the Brontosaurus to touch the bottom of the glass.

"Why'd you ask?"

"I just. . . he was so used to everything yesterday. He's obviously visited both the Manotaurs and Multi between meeting them and yesterday's whole fiasco. He didn't try to blend in yesterday, he was just himself."

"Wait, so what actually happened yesterday? Dipper got embarrassed yesterday evening because you tried to say he was more competent than he thought, and you come down this morning wondering when and where your brother got all of his skills from."

Mabel hesitates, running through all of the events of the day before and starting to plan out how to phrase it all, then downs the remainder of her glass of Mabel Juice decisively and leans forward a little to start explaining.

By the time Dipper shuffles in, blinking blearily, both his twin and his Grunkle are sitting in silence. The latter seems to be more than a little shell-shocked, lifting his head to stare blankly at the brunet once he steps into view, and the former seems to be contemplating pouring what would seem to be a third glass of Mabel Juice.

Dipper grabs the jug so she doesn't have to make the decision, starting to drink his way through the rest of it tiredly, and eyes Stan suspiciously. The infamous Mabel Juice has, admittedly, grown on him since he was twelve; it's a good replacement for coffee, sometimes, because it's cheaper to make, even if it's not quite in coffee's league taste-wise. (It's scarily close, though, if you don't choke on a plastic dinosaur.)

"What?" He asks eventually, more awake now and actually kind of spooked by the near-awed level of staring his great uncle is achieving.

"Huh?" Stan says, snapping out if his weirdness and shaking his head a little as if to clear it. "What?"

Dipper narrows his eyes slightly. "Why where you staring at me?"

"I wasn't?"

"Grunkle Stan. . ."

"Jeez, who knew twenty-something year-olds could be so naggy?" Stan complains. "So Mabel told me what happened yesterday. Who cares? It's not like I'm impressed or anything."

Dipper chooses to ignore the implications of the last sentence (which Stan seems to be regretting saying), instead swivelling his head to send a poisonous glare Mabel's way.

"Mabel Pines," he hisses, just in case she didn't get the message from his expression. "Please tell me you did _not_ tell our great-uncle an exaggerated version of our misadventures yesterday."

"I didn't tell our great-uncle an exaggerated version of our misadventures yesterday?" She tries hopefully.

"I don't think it was very exaggerated," Grunkle Stan chimes in. "I mean, you did fight the battle-hardened, fifty-foot leader of the Manotaurs one-on-one and win, right?"

Dipper puts his head in his hands and groans loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn't read the chapter name and you're confused - Leader R was just sick with a cold and a permanent case of The Cowardly Flu.
> 
> (Dipper is definitely not impressed, but helps anyway, because he's a good person.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and congratulations on wading your way through my weird-ass excuse for a fic
> 
>  
> 
> [Come talk to me on tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/total-master-of-geekiness)


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